We stumbled across some fairly unsettling vintage photos of Santas and since sharing is caring we invite you to partake in the unadulterated horror, which we made even more terrifying by adding some appropriately weird captions.
Bartholomew had many talents.
Looking like a jolly non-psychotic Santa was not one of them.
Photo taken right before dead-eyed Nick fed the small child to his
adorable but surprisingly carnivorous donkey.
The year that would always be remembered as the one where everyone
got anxiety for Christmas.
It was already too late when Brenda realized 'The North Pole' was
in fact the name of a mental institution for the criminally insane.
As much as he firmly believed that nothing builds character like childhood
trauma, father suspected he had possibly taken it one step too far this time.
The Christmas where Marjorie spoke her very first words: 'Help' and 'Me'.
Although slaying was a messy affair at times, ol' dead-eye was happy he
at least had his trusted number basket to keep tabs on the monthly death toll.
It was well past dessert before the Faunterloy family realized Santa
was in fact neither human nor alive in the traditional sense.
While they were overjoyed the science experiment had worked,
Mr. and Mrs. Whipplebottom hoped their little Winifred wouldn't suffer any
permanent damage from meeting the reanimated corpse of her grandfather.
"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact."
- What did you get me for Christmas this year, Santa?
- I'm all out of toys, so you'll have to settle for 'complete mental breakdown'.